The Way it was Meant to be
Then the Lord God
made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man. “At last!” the man exclaimed. “This one is bone from my bone, and
flesh from my flesh! She will be called ‘woman,’ because she was taken from ‘man.’” This
explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and
the two are united into one. (Genesis 2:
22-24 NLT)
The very first
marriage ever was an arranged marriage. Arranged by God,
nonetheless. Adam declared, she is my flesh and bone, she is one with
me. Scripture says they were naked and not ashamed. This was before
the fall. This is an immediate and complete acceptance of Woman by the
very first man. I imagine the feeling of safety, contentment, acceptance,
and love.
Then they ate from
the tree of knowledge of good and evil, then comes the fall from grace of
God. Adam blamed Eve “The woman whom You gave to be with me, she gave me
of the tree, and I ate.” He threw her under the bus. They gave
birth to two sons, one kills another. Chaos and wickedness abound until
Noah’s flood. After thousands of years, not much has changed for the
husband-and-wife relationship it seems like. When things go wrong, we
still blame one another. Our children fight short of killing one another.
But Christ has given us an example. In Ephesian chapter 5 marriage is
presented as relationship between Christ and the Church. Christ is head
of the church and husband is the head of the wife. Christ loved and died
for the church and husband is to love his wife as his own flesh, nourish and
cherish her. The wife is to submit to her husband as head of the household.
It has been hard for me to respect my husband in all things. It has been so hard to not try to control all things. I am still like Eve trying to grab the forbidden fruit before my husband. Just like Eve, wanting a better life, wanting more, has put me in precarious situations. We have had Ricky Ricardo and Lucille Ball moments where I tried to do things behind my husband’s back, and it backfired. When I took kids out of public school to send them to a charter school, it ended in disaster, as it turned out the charter school was not well established. When I started a bible study with few ladies who were obsessed with end times, and we ended up losing the joy of salvation but ended up fearful and miserable. My husband warned me, but I didn’t listen until group fell apart. These are just few examples of how I tried to get my way and control things.
Probably because I was really humbled by the bible study that went wrong, at the most recent vacation in
Hawaii, for the first time, I just let my husband make the decision on all our
activities. If I had it my way, I would have chosen a cheaper lodging than the luxurious resort we were staying at. It always upset me to find out how much the lodging costs, like the time we stayed in the most expensive unit in the Hamilton Cove of Catalina Island. I kind of knew how expensive it was; the resort we were staying at but I decided not to say anything. Instead, I just accepted that my husband is managing the finances well and I can trust him. Even if he wasn't, it was up to him to make those decisions and if in the future can use those experiences to make a better decision. It was a first vacation where we did not end up
fighting…On the island of Maui, a little paradise, I saw a glimpse of what
could have been like to be Adam and Eve. All the luscious plants were so
well watered and nourished by the mineral rich soil. Guava, passion
fruit, and coconuts were growing on their own within a reach. There were hardly any vicious animals or predators to
worry about. The weather was perfect, we were wearing swimsuits all day
and not ashamed. We snorkeled to see the beauty of the underwater
creatures, bright yellow, blue fish, and turtles. But the most wonderful
thing about being in Hawaii was being a family in harmony.
(written in August 2022 while vacationing in Maui)
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